Have you ever noticed how many women tend to be the hardest on other women? Unfortunately, one of the bi-products of a sexist system is that women are constantly pit against one another. We are constantly told that the prettiest woman gets the prize—whatever that may be. This creates an environment in which women end up seeing other women as the enemy, and this is where jealousy, cattiness, and even downright maliciousness comes into play. We see this in the term “frenemies” which is most often applied to women. A “frenemy” is a person who appears to be friends with someone on the surface, but ends up doing things to sabotage their supposed friend’s happiness. I’ve experienced quite a few of them in my lifetime. These things can consist of small minor things such as telling them an outfit looks cute when in actuality it does not look good on them, to much larger things such as stealing that friend’s boyfriend. The “frenemy” issue is just one example of how women can, and often do, undermine other women, even those they are supposed to be friends with. This juvenile behavior holds us all back.
Today, women are doing and accomplishing more than ever. We are the fastest growing entrepreneurs. On most college campuses, women are outnumbering men. And women are making more progress in government positions. We are gaining ground when it comes to gaining recognition for our accomplishments, but we still have a long way to go. I fear that women will not be able to continue this momentum of moving forward unless we recognize that we are not each other’s enemy. Another woman who is working hard, and succeeding should not be a threat to you, but a sign of encouragement. It’s OK for women to compete with one another when it comes to working hard to get a better education, or to move up the corporate ladder, or other markers of success. However, when it comes to individual gossiping and badmouthing other women just to make them look bad, this is where we need to reconsider our actions and ask who this behavior is benefiting. My hope is to see more and more women encourage and root for one another to succeed, to break down barriers towards living in an equal society where we all are appreciated and respected for who we are. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder what makes one women go through such extreme measures to see another woman fail, causing a division in our sisterhood? Is it low self esteem? Is it the intimidation factor? Are they just mean girls? What do you think it is?
Unfortunately, in society today, respect is earned, not given. This includes all aspects of our lives, from working with colleagues to personal relationships. In dating, the same holds true—you show men how you are to be treated. Some women let little things slide in the beginning stages of a relationship, and those issues end up snowballing later on down the road,and then it’s just too late! The things that you put up with in the beginning of a relationship will definitely come back to haunt you, years from now. Thus, it is your responsibility to know exactly what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship, and to teach your partner to act and treat you accordingly.
When it comes right down to it, men are like children and they have to be taught how to treat you. I will give you an example. When first getting to know someone, I cannot stand texting as the main mode of communication. I let this be known up front, that I prefer a phone call over text message, that is if you really want to get to know me. If my potential suitor sends me a text after I have let him know this is now what I want, I do not respond to the text, at all. I will wait for him to call me and I will tell him again that I do not like texting and that a phone call is preferable. If this person continues to text, then all communication is cut off. This is not a matter of being rude or too stern, but an issue of whether the person you are trying to build a relationship with respects the boundaries you have set forth. If they cannot accept a simple request to communicate via phone call instead of texting, then you can bet there are a number of other boundaries they will end up crossing as your relationship progresses. Remember you as a woman are a queen and should be treated as such.
All women need to realize the power they hold in a relationship. That thing between your legs is a treasure and 9 times out of 10 the man pursuing you will do just about anything to get it or continue getting it on a regular basis. Now I’m not saying that your buried treasure is the ONLY thing a man wants, but if they are pursuing you in any form or fashion… he wants it. As a woman it is your goal to find that delicate balance between being cool, but not cold, to speak sternly, but not to be argumentative. You want to make sure your man knows what a prize you are as a whole and what a privilege it is to be with you. Don’t settle for less, because you are to impatient to wait for the best. Keep your heels, standards and heads high!
Remember it’s nothing wrong with whipping him into shape!