Have you ever noticed how many women tend to be the hardest on other women? Unfortunately, one of the bi-products of a sexist system is that women are constantly pit against one another. We are constantly told that the prettiest woman gets the prize—whatever that may be. This creates an environment in which women end up seeing other women as the enemy, and this is where jealousy, cattiness, and even downright maliciousness comes into play. We see this in the term “frenemies” which is most often applied to women. A “frenemy” is a person who appears to be friends with someone on the surface, but ends up doing things to sabotage their supposed friend’s happiness. I’ve experienced quite a few of them in my lifetime. These things can consist of small minor things such as telling them an outfit looks cute when in actuality it does not look good on them, to much larger things such as stealing that friend’s boyfriend. The “frenemy” issue is just one example of how women can, and often do, undermine other women, even those they are supposed to be friends with. This juvenile behavior holds us all back.
Today, women are doing and accomplishing more than ever. We are the fastest growing entrepreneurs. On most college campuses, women are outnumbering men. And women are making more progress in government positions. We are gaining ground when it comes to gaining recognition for our accomplishments, but we still have a long way to go. I fear that women will not be able to continue this momentum of moving forward unless we recognize that we are not each other’s enemy. Another woman who is working hard, and succeeding should not be a threat to you, but a sign of encouragement. It’s OK for women to compete with one another when it comes to working hard to get a better education, or to move up the corporate ladder, or other markers of success. However, when it comes to individual gossiping and badmouthing other women just to make them look bad, this is where we need to reconsider our actions and ask who this behavior is benefiting. My hope is to see more and more women encourage and root for one another to succeed, to break down barriers towards living in an equal society where we all are appreciated and respected for who we are. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder what makes one women go through such extreme measures to see another woman fail, causing a division in our sisterhood? Is it low self esteem? Is it the intimidation factor? Are they just mean girls? What do you think it is?
Unfortunately, in society today, respect is earned, not given. This includes all aspects of our lives, from working with colleagues to personal relationships. In dating, the same holds true—you show men how you are to be treated. Some women let little things slide in the beginning stages of a relationship, and those issues end up snowballing later on down the road,and then it’s just too late! The things that you put up with in the beginning of a relationship will definitely come back to haunt you, years from now. Thus, it is your responsibility to know exactly what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship, and to teach your partner to act and treat you accordingly.
When it comes right down to it, men are like children and they have to be taught how to treat you. I will give you an example. When first getting to know someone, I cannot stand texting as the main mode of communication. I let this be known up front, that I prefer a phone call over text message, that is if you really want to get to know me. If my potential suitor sends me a text after I have let him know this is now what I want, I do not respond to the text, at all. I will wait for him to call me and I will tell him again that I do not like texting and that a phone call is preferable. If this person continues to text, then all communication is cut off. This is not a matter of being rude or too stern, but an issue of whether the person you are trying to build a relationship with respects the boundaries you have set forth. If they cannot accept a simple request to communicate via phone call instead of texting, then you can bet there are a number of other boundaries they will end up crossing as your relationship progresses. Remember you as a woman are a queen and should be treated as such.
All women need to realize the power they hold in a relationship. That thing between your legs is a treasure and 9 times out of 10 the man pursuing you will do just about anything to get it or continue getting it on a regular basis. Now I’m not saying that your buried treasure is the ONLY thing a man wants, but if they are pursuing you in any form or fashion… he wants it. As a woman it is your goal to find that delicate balance between being cool, but not cold, to speak sternly, but not to be argumentative. You want to make sure your man knows what a prize you are as a whole and what a privilege it is to be with you. Don’t settle for less, because you are to impatient to wait for the best. Keep your heels, standards and heads high!
Remember it’s nothing wrong with whipping him into shape!
Since the early 20th Century, women have come a long way in terms of gaining rights, and making headway in positions of government. Women winning the right to vote in the 20th Century has led to more and more women not only making our voices heard in elections, but also becoming standout candidates at the local, state and federal levels of government. Currently, in the 113th Congress there are twenty women in the Senate and seventy-nine women in the House of Representatives. Altogether these women make up approximately, 20% of the total Congressional seats. While much progress has been made, women still have a long way to go before there is gender parity within the U.S. Congress.
According to research from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research (IWPR) is will take, approximately, another 100 years before we see an equitable amount of women and men in Congress. Unfortunately, there are a number of factors that still stand in women’s way when it comes to rising up the political ranks. Many women who seek political office lack mentors or people who are willing to step out and guide these women to have successful careers. Furthermore, sponsors are more likely to get behind male candidates than women candidates. In politics, it is most often the person with the most money who is going to win the votes. There are also many who believe women just do not seek out political careers. In some cases, this might be true, but there are plenty of women who have political ambitions. I am betting if resources were equitable for women candidates, there would be more women in Congress.
Within the last few years, if you pay attention to politics, you may have seen a few women making their voices heard. Most notably, Elizabeth Warren and Wendy Davis. Warren, formerly a bankruptcy professor at Harvard University rose to prominence in her fight against big commercial and investment banks after the 2007-2008 financial crisis. Warren currently serves as one of the two Senators for the state of Massachusetts. Wendy Davis, is a Texas state senator, and ran an unsuccessful bid for governor. However, Davis’ campaign did make national headlines as she fought to protect women’s right to choose and other matters. Davis is still heavily courting the female vote in her state for her next political campaign. Women are making progress, but it will take time and more support from mentors, current political leaders, and the public to ensure equity at the federal, state, and local government levels.
Congressional count: http://www.cawp.rutgers.edu/fast_facts/levels_of_office/Congress-Current.php
It’s October, which means, colder weather, pumpkin spice everything, and pink ribbons showing up all over your favorite food containers and in commercials. By now, you probably know that October is breast cancer awareness month. Breast cancer is a very serious issue among women, and is the second leading cause of cancer deaths for women behind lung cancer. According to the American Cancer Society more than 60,000 women will be diagnosed with non-invasive breast cancer, 230,000 women will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer, and some 40,000 women will die of the illness, this year alone. While these numbers are scary, they do point to one important fact: getting tested can save your life!
Unfortunately, most women do not find out about their breast cancer until it has reached the latter stages. The later the stage the cancer is found the more complicated treatment becomes, and increases the possibility of dying from the illness. This is why it is so important to get tested, as well as get breast exams. Mammograms are the often prescribed testing method for breast cancer. While it is recommended that women over fifty get a mammogram every two years, for those who are younger, it is advised you speak with your doctor to inquire when to get a mammogram. Some women have a higher likelihood for breast cancer, if it runs in their family, therefore your physician may advise you start getting regular mammograms prior to turning fifty. There are two types of mammograms, a screening mammogram and a diagnostic mammogram. The screening mammogram is the type used for women who are getting a checkup, and the diagnostic mammogram is used after a lump has been found. Mammograms are not the only form of breast cancer screening available.
Even if you are nowhere near fifty, or have any risk factors for breast cancer it is important that you get acquainted with your own tatas! Regular, breast self-examinations have helped many women save their own life. Frequent regular self-examination will help you to get familiar with the feel of your own breasts. This will make it particularly easy to identify if something feels out of place. Breast self-examinations are relatively easy and painless. All it takes is a few minutes, you can do it while in the shower or getting dressed in the morning. To do your own self-examinations, simply lift one hand over your head and place behind your back, so your elbow is point upward. With the other hand, take two fingers and move them in a circular motion, starting on the outer part of your breast, moving inward. You should be feeling for any lumps, hardened skin, or thickening. Remember to check your armpit area too, as breast tissue extends under the arm, as well. When done, simply repeat on the other side. Self-breast exams should be done at least once a month, if not more frequently.
Breast cancer can be a scary subject to talk about. However, October marks the perfect time of year to make a commitment to yourself and your health. Remember, while all the “save the tatas!” slogans are going around, this is more than just pink ribbons and a few donations. It is a commitment to yourself, as a woman, to put your health and your well-being first.